i received this joke via email from a friend and would like to share it with you all


These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
 
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? 
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
 
WITNESS: Yes. 
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
WITNESS: I forget. 
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" 
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? 
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? 
WITNESS: We both do. 
ATTORNEY: Voodoo? 
WITNESS: We do. 
ATTORNEY: You do? 
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? 
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? 
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 
WITNESS: Yes. 
ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time? 
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? 
WITNESS: Yes. 
ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 
WITNESS: None. 
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? 
WITNESS: By death. 
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? 
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. 
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 
WITNESS: Guess.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? 
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your  responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? 
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined
the body?
 
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. 
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? 
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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THE BEST>>>


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 

WITNESS: No.
 

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 
WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: Did  you check for breathing?
 
WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
 
WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law!!!
 
:D 

Category: 0 comments

dostana rocks



Dostana rocks man, or maybe its just the lead actress :D but then still , it still does rock . ;) 

 but then again, the lead actress( priyanka chopra) looses to katrina kaif - the meaning of ZEBAB!  haha :D




 

Category: 1 comments

keh bin's confession

thirath- www.vinodatemylefttoe.blogspot.com says:
anyway

thirath- www.vinodatemylefttoe.blogspot.com says:
dont chage the subject

thirath- www.vinodatemylefttoe.blogspot.com says:
tell the truth fast la 

a Keh Bin. Knight Engineered for Hazardous Battle and Immediate Nullification says:
k la k la

a Keh Bin. Knight Engineered for Hazardous Battle and Immediate Nullification says:
lala la

  a Keh Bin. Knight Engineered for Hazardous Battle and Immediate Nullification says:
i am lala

  a Keh Bin. Knight Engineered for Hazardous Battle and Immediate Nullification says:
i love lalas a lot .dont tell anyone k?




i din tell anyone i just showed:D

Category: 2 comments

how can you not love this


just love it but my K810i is suffice :D 

Category: 0 comments

:(

sorry to everyone out there but the boy who is deprived of love(kay been pronounced as keh bin, this is purely coincidental) cannot be published as this particular loveless kid said no to my post as it states to much( much not many) truthful things for him to comprehend and he confessed that he might break down and cry( as they say, the truth hurts) , so :D i'm sorry once again


:D
p.s. yb (aka icylicious) claims she has flowers growing in her ass waiting for me to update her post. wth, so truthful some ppl, so maybe i shud write about her . but then again y waste time when she writes about herself and does it admirably well herself here :D

Category: 1 comments